LIVING separately only to be reunited with the knowledge of how much each means to the other....Nice one sis!!
Metaphores never fail to enthrall me... It sends chill to every fibres in my body...even to the places I don't know I have inside me. It's weird, how words can affect us. However, there are certain things that we just can't express in words. I don't know, perhaps it's just me.
Anyhow, I went to his birthday today. I did well. I did not backslide. I did not do or say anything I might regret in the future. Finally, it's over. I am free.
How? Believe it or not, I'm as clueless as you are. I just know it's over. It's not that I don't love him anymore...I still do...but it's different.
"Terrifed to forget, forbidden to remember" That's how it WAS...
What's left between us can never be erased. Somehow I'm relieved. I've just realized that ...I want the leftovers - but nothing more. I wanted him to remember me because he was the one who taught me how to love...When love seemed impossible for someone like me. He is, so far, the only proof of my humanity. Before I met him, I was an outcast. I was a person without love - I was a nobody.
When this chapter of my life threatened to erase itself, I felt uneasy, I tried to imprison it, holding it captive; but the more I clutched at it, the harder it strived to escape.
I haven't forgotten him..be it. I was pathetic..be it. Regret? Not really..
"Cherish the feeling while it lasts, and let it goes on with time..."I finally understand. I cannot predict what will happen next but currently, I can ask for nothing more. I will live my life n be alright...I will hang on to life until I meet my "other hand" - Just like Winny and Jeff, Edward and Bella, Romeo and Juliet, n yada yada yada...- where are you, Mr. Limb?
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
289 Days Left
*Hit!*
"Did you eat your breakfast today!?"
She hit my thigh again, what does this old hag want from me? Seriously! I knew that I usually slack off, but i have actually practiced this time.
" No...It was too early and I ..."
" You're so fat and yet you don't even have the energy to play louder? And also, I told you countless of time already. The most important rule when you are learning a new song is to train each hand over and over again, until you can play them individually perfectly. And THEN, you can combine both parts together to create a symphony. Not this broken piece of so-called music you played just now."
" OK..." Monster. Red-fingernails Medusa.
"Now repeat that part again, with your right hand."
Yes, that is Adeline, my piano teacher. And no, she's not my favorite teacher. She's in her mid thirties and is reaching her menopause. She's so gonna get it soon. She's an expert in music and torturing people. But that's not the point.
Some random thought came up to me this morning, at 4AM when i tossed and turned on my shabby queen-sized bed. Again, you clogged up my mind, greedily occupying every inch of space there. You, smiling cheekily. The possibility that we won't see each other for another 289 days. The space that I always kept for you , next to me, on this humongous bed. You, kissed away my tears saying everything is okay. This pain, of having to stay away from you. Torn, between two continents.
I miss you.
That will be an understatement, but i can't find better words. And so that piano lesson reminded me of us.
You gave me a new life. A new symphony. I am the left hand, and you are the right hand. To achieve the perfect symphony, we have to train each part separately. And so before that day when we could finally be together, I will learn to be a better person, a girl who's worthy of you.
"Did you eat your breakfast today!?"
She hit my thigh again, what does this old hag want from me? Seriously! I knew that I usually slack off, but i have actually practiced this time.
" No...It was too early and I ..."
" You're so fat and yet you don't even have the energy to play louder? And also, I told you countless of time already. The most important rule when you are learning a new song is to train each hand over and over again, until you can play them individually perfectly. And THEN, you can combine both parts together to create a symphony. Not this broken piece of so-called music you played just now."
" OK..." Monster. Red-fingernails Medusa.
"Now repeat that part again, with your right hand."
Yes, that is Adeline, my piano teacher. And no, she's not my favorite teacher. She's in her mid thirties and is reaching her menopause. She's so gonna get it soon. She's an expert in music and torturing people. But that's not the point.
Some random thought came up to me this morning, at 4AM when i tossed and turned on my shabby queen-sized bed. Again, you clogged up my mind, greedily occupying every inch of space there. You, smiling cheekily. The possibility that we won't see each other for another 289 days. The space that I always kept for you , next to me, on this humongous bed. You, kissed away my tears saying everything is okay. This pain, of having to stay away from you. Torn, between two continents.
I miss you.
That will be an understatement, but i can't find better words. And so that piano lesson reminded me of us.
You gave me a new life. A new symphony. I am the left hand, and you are the right hand. To achieve the perfect symphony, we have to train each part separately. And so before that day when we could finally be together, I will learn to be a better person, a girl who's worthy of you.
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